What a year - ramblings

I can't believe it's been a year since I have posted anything on this blog. I guess Facebook has kind of taken it's place.

I decided to come back to this blog to record my thoughts and process on my healing path. I'm so tired of being sick and struggling with my health. Last month we decided to change the way we eat by eating more organic, gluten free and high fructose corn syrup free. Paul has seen a difference right away but I can't same the same thing for myself. It's taking me longer and I'm still not sure I have seen a change. Many of my medications keep changing and I'm wondering if any of them are helping at all or if they are just making me feel worse. I would love to have energy and the desire to do more with the boys, but all I want to do sometimes is sleep because I don't sleep well at night anymore.

For a recap here are all illnesses. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Restless Leg syndrome and Tachycardia (a heart problem). I feel like the list grows each year and it's time for it to stop. I've prayed many times for healing and I've had many people praying for me. I think in some ways I've been better but in other areas I've gotten worse. How do I know if God has healed me? Do I just know and believe? I do believe that God can heal me and there are days that I feel much better. So do I stop taking all my medications or do I continue to take them and feel this way? If by taking them am I not trusting in God? Sometimes I think the side affects of the drugs are worse than the symptoms themselves so maybe I should start going off some of these meds. Some of the drugs I'm on can be addicting or can cause other disorders and that frightens me.

I would like to take a more natural approach but my insurance will not cover alternative methods and that is very discouraging. We are stuck with pill pushing doctors because we can't afford anything else. Maybe I should just call and talk to some homeopathic doctors and see what they would suggest and charge.

If mom's house were sold and they were living here we would have the money to do this. I'm worried mom's house isn't going to sell and I don't know what is going to happen. I'm trying to trust in God and have faith that it will all work out in his timing but each week and month that goes by makes it more difficult. What is the delay? Sometimes as I'm praying I get a good feeling that it's going to be sold soon and then nothing happens. I guess my soon is not the same as God's soon.

I have been reading an allegory called Hinds' Feet on High Places and so many of Much Afraid's feeling are the same as my own. I'm not too far into the book but I'm hoping that it will give me some new insight to what God wants for me.

New House

New House

Christmas 2008

We are now officially done with Christmas. We had a wonderful Christmas, we spent the entire week celebrating with family. I have to say is was exhausting and fun at the same time and it was really nice spreading it out. I was determined this year to really enjoy the season and to not rush through it or worry about not doing something. We kept all our meals simple and just enjoyed the time with family, after all it's not about the food it's about the people we are with. Here are a few pictures of our celebration.






As you can see everyone was very happy with their gifts, but more importantly we had a wonderful week together and learned/remembered the true meaning of Christmas.

Ice Storm

What an ice storm we had last night. Thankfully we still have power but we did lose a huge limb off the tree in our front yard. The limb blocked the steps to our front porch and our side door. We had to climb through the branches to get out of the house. I think we need to invest in a chain saw, poor Paul had to saw the limbs by hand. Here are some pictures of our mess. We still have more clean up and a few minutes ago we lost another limb so more sawing is in Paul's future.





I have to say that even though the ice is treacherous it can be very beautiful, here are a few more pictures of our ice covered trees.

Sleepy Baby

Last week Ben fell asleep in the van when we were picking Clayton and Eli up from school. Usually he wakes up when I take him in the house but this time he didn't and this is how he slept for about 15 minutes while I fixed lunch for everyone.

Piano

We have a piano! And as you can see the boys love it. We are looking forward to when we can actually hear a song in what they are playing but until then I guess we will use ear plugs...ha ha ha! Actually they are doing very well with it, better than I expected.

Paul is practicing "Carol of the Bells" for Christmas and I have enjoyed listening to him play. I hope to learn to play too...someday.

Prairie Thunder Hockey Game

Grandpa Joe got some tickets to the Prairie Thunder Hockey game last night and since Paul really didn't want to go I took Clayton. I love hockey and it was so much fun sharing that with Clayton at his first game. It was fun watching him too, at first he just watched while I explained a little bit of the game and what they were doing. Then he really got into it and he loved all the music they played between the periods. He also loved the cheerleaders, so much that he refused to go potty until they were done. We were so excited as the Thunder scored 6 goals, but one of the funniest moments happened when the Generals scored their first goal and Clayton looked over at us and said "That was not nice!!!" We all died laughing. It was so much fun watching him get all excited when our team scored or came close to scoring. The final score was the 6-2. The Thunder Won! What a great first game for Clayton he even asked if we could go again tomorrow night.